Parenting

Why can’t we let ourselves be mothered or pampered?

As a mum of three I find it very hard to get any time for myself, between school runs, tidying the house up, making dinner, doing homework and getting kids ready for bed I find that come the end of the day I’m completely deflated and come bed time all I want to do is get into bed and go to sleep.

Then I wake up the next day and do it all again and as the week goes on I find myself getting more short fused and annoyed because I haven’t done anything for myself or gave myself the permission to enjoy even 10 minutes on my own.

Everyone in the house starts to annoy me and I start blaming them all for not having any time to myself because all they do is mess the house up and I have to tidy up all the time, I complain that I’m fed up of doing everything on my own.

So why do we let ourselves get to the point where we’re giving out to everyone for something that we have control over?

Do you not make sure your child is always as happy as they can be?

Do you not bring your child to after school activities or activities at the weekend?

Don’t you bring them to the dreaded play centres even though its absolute hell for parents?

Don’t you watch the same episode of Peppa Pig every single day?

So if we’re capable of making the time for our children to be happy why can’t we give ourselves the time and permission to do something we enjoy?

For me personally I have always found that guilt has been one of the main culprits of not allowing myself that much-needed time out.

Every time I think of doing something I enjoy I have my three kids in the back of my mind and I’m thinking I could be doing something with them instead because I always feel that I haven’t spent enough time with them that day, even though they might have been home with me all day and i’m ready to shut myself in the bathroom until bed time.

But yet I still don’t give myself those 5 minutes that can make the difference between crazy shouty mummy and calm and loving mummy.

The guilt of having a house that needs tidying up, or dinner that needs cooked, kids that want your attention and finding that much-needed time with your partner is an absolute killer and it’s something I struggle immensely with.

I often find myself running and running until I hit the wall and then it’s too late and the words have been said and the actions have been done.

We shouldn’t let ourselves get to that point, we need to start giving ourselves the permission to be as important as those we love.

There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself that time out to get your hair done, to go to the gym, read a book, sit and enjoy a cup of tea in peace, eat that cake on your own without sharing it with the kids.

You are just as important as anyone else and deserve to be pampered and to be looked after.

Let your partner look after the kids, tidy up or make the dinner.

Let your mother help you with the children or the chores, let that kind friend help you out when you need it.

We need to let go of that guilt that keeps us from doing the things we love and from giving ourselves time out.

We need to start thinking about ourselves and giving as much of our time to ourselves as we do to those around us.

Next time you find that you need that time out, don’t duel on it too much and just go for it, your family will thank you for it when you are less stressed and more refreshed from taking that time out.

If mummy isn’t happy no one is happy.

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Elisabeth x

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